2020.. Thinking out loud, the musings of a mum

I am heading into 2020 full of love with an open mind and heart, ready for all that is to come!

Over the last year my life has changed a lot, I have said yes to more things and allowed myself to shift some of my focus away from being a mum.   

I have felt this transition pulling at me, but could also feel myself struggling against it.  I have always talked openly to my boys about my feelings and have explained that I know they are growing up, but that I need time to get used to the idea of slowly letting go... they feel me and we are guiding each other through the stages of this together.

I have loved being a full time mum and it is all I have known since my eldest son was born 17 years ago....

I suffered from preeclampsia and he was born at 36 weeks.   His birth was traumatic for both him and I & I did not bond with him immediately.  I was so medicated during his birth and for the days following and I believe he suffered trauma from his intervention too.

On day 6 everything changed, we bonded.  Me to him and him to me & in that moment I became a mother and was forever changed.    

Huntar is now 17 years old and I still feel that same bond with him, strengthened by all that we have experienced together.   My faith in him is unwavering, I would place my life in his hands without hesitation. 

My other two boys were thankfully born into a calm space.  

I bonded with my 2nd son the very second I saw him.   He was laid on my chest and he opened his blue eyes & looked into my eyes & saw soul...my precious Zephyr.   Zephyr brings a calmness to all around him & his wicked giggle is pure delight.

I feel like I actually bonded with Jett before he was born.  He is such an old soul and so content with his own company.  He is self reliant and very selective about who he spends time with.  When he speaks... everyone listens, as he doesn't speak unless he has something to say.

My bond with each of the boys is unique.  

Huntar will always be the one who summoned the mother in me to come forward & when it did I felt the strength of all the mothers before me come with it.    

Once you are a mum, it is part of who you are forever.  You can never be as you were before... 

So, for now I must weave my way along the path finding out who I am today!

I am excited to be lucky enough to follow my heart and continue to connect with small businesses and to promote their beautiful offerings to you.

I am loving the journey meandering along at my own pace and watching each of the brands evolving as they learn and grow themselves.

Life is a gift... treasure it and find the beautiful moments even whilst you're hanging out washing and making school lunches, or while you're sipping a cup of tea with a beloved friend.. they are everywhere if you look for them.

Much love

Sam xxx

 

 

 

 

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nYVUcESvkKxywgIN April 17, 2020

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